Fantastic b c i didnt even realize this condition existed and that I had participated in the cycle of a love addiction I knew something wasn t right but couldn t figure it out always wondering why can t someone love me This book provides a lot of insight and helps to change your approach And it doesnt have to be about a romantic relationship, it can happen with a friend, sister or other family member All of us deserve to learn to love in a healthy way Very informative though a bit repetitive and somewhat lengthy Nonetheless, It was quite illuminating for me to find described on the written page what my previous relationships have been like and the pitfalls that have kept me in them Already had opportunity to put this new infomation in effect and have been able to identify a new potential pitfall and avoid it before falling in I feel empowered after being given this new knowledge lacey made me read this one it is a 12 step model for cleaning up dysfunctional relationships and it provides work space for the steps my first extensive exposure to 12 step language which made me cringe and grin plenty, but i did find some useful insights for the things people do and i admit to finding some of my own uglier behaviors discussed as common asshole maneuvers humbling and helpful it is one of those take what s useful overlook what s not books. I was let down This is a very interesting and complex topic, but the author provided only a superficial analysis Writing style was sophomoric Presentation of ideas was messy and convoluted Very little outside documentation or support was offered, and the few examples provided appeared to be fictional composites, not actual case studies. First 3 pages had me in tears I learned a lot about myself, my significant other, and my relationships with my parents I recommend this book to anyone struggling with any type of relationship. Some solid, interesting content in this book All in all though, I had trouble following the organization and structure It somehow seemed both that there was too much content to cover in the space allotted, and that there was a fair amount of repetition throughout Still, some very interesting ideas that I ll be thinking and journaling about for some time. In this revised and updated version of Facing Love Addiction, bestselling author of Facing Codependence and internationally recognized dependence and addiction authority Pia Mellody unravels the intricate dynamics of unhealthy love relationships and shows us how to let go of toxic love Through twelve step work, exercises, and journal keeping, Facing Love Addiction compassionately and realistically outlines the recovery process for Love Addicts, and Mellody s fresh perspective and clear methods work to comfort and motivate all those looking to establish and maintain healthy, happy relationships John Lennon and Yoko Ono were on the Dick Cavett Show in September, 1971 Imagine had just come out Yoko had also released a new record and a conceptual book She s sitting in the first chair and she s wearing an expensive looking, orange velvet leotard Skimpy She s got on sheer black stockings and a little beret John and Yoko hold hands a lot during the interview and fondly stroke each other s fingers She s rather humorless, deferential what a weird position for her The world saw her o John Lennon and Yoko Ono were on the Dick Cavett Show in September, 1971 Imagine had just come out Yoko had also released a new record and a conceptual book She s sitting in the first chair and she s wearing an expensive looking, orange velvet leotard Skimpy She s got on sheer black stockings and a little beret John and Yoko hold hands a lot during the interview and fondly stroke each other s fingers She s rather humorless, deferential what a weird position for her The world saw her only as the wife of a Beatle And America wasn t quite ready for the fact that she was Japanese It s barely ready for it now Maybe still not ready for it, actually Dick Cavett points out that Ono went to Sarah Lawrence I did not know that But it doesn t surprise me at all She was out there, a woman making things, a female artist, a sharp mind I suspect she and Lennon were love addicted This is my layman s diagnosis Or maybe they were happily married, no drama, no codependency, no cray cray It s possible, but not probable.This is the thing about love addiction, it often happens INSIDE a marriage It s not like sex addiction, which I don t associate as much with marriage Of course sex addiction happens inside a marriage, too But our stereotyped view of it, or mine at least, lookslike the plot of Looking for Mr Goodbar or that movie Shame In Shame aptly titled the lead character runs around having sex with a string of anonymous women, whoever will have him, really Pia Mellody s book dealswith the monogamous model a cycle of chasing and begging for love that alternates with an opposite behavior, called love avoidance Sometimes one partner chases, and the other is distant and avoidant Other times the partners continually switch roles, in a cycle of come here go away which is excruciating for both Mellody s recovery program for love addiction requires tackling intimacy fears and healing wounds from childhood abandonment, abuse, and neglect FUN If you ve ever been in love, then you know that love can feel like a drug It s a thin line between love and love addiction If a love relationship is bringingpain than pleasure, probably the best idea is to get out of it And if you can t get out of it, maybe you re addicted to it But some of us are married, and we don t want to get out.This not to say that I m not happily married I am so happily married it s a joke Every day and every night is heaven Every minute of my marriage is pure bliss We fell in love, and we have never stopped being madly and passionately in love The sex is always great We ve been together for twenty years and we ve never had a fight It s really quite something ThereforeFacing Love Addiction is not a book I would ever need to read A therapist would never practically force me to buy this book after begging me for years to look into codependency treatment I am way too perfect But this book may have value for other people.As an aside, my parents got divorced after being married for thirty years and now they don t speak at all Fortunately, they also had one of those marriages that was all bliss, all the time It was the perfect relationship.Just kidding.Oh, and here s the Dick Cavett Interview Be warned, it s a bit of a one hour wormhole.https www.youtube.com watch v 7kXCn I generally liked this book in terms of covering the topic of co addicted relationships I was reading Mellody Beattie s Codependent No More at the same time which with its central focus on partners of alcoholics, didn t do it for me.In particular, I liked that Pia Mellody gave a very practical program and structure for breaking the patterns of co addicted relating Kudos too for giving sufficient attention to Love Avoidants, something that was definitely lacking in Levine Heller s recent book I generally liked this book in terms of covering the topic of co addicted relationships I was reading Mellody Beattie s Codependent No More at the same time which with its central focus on partners of alcoholics, didn t do it for me.In particular, I liked that Pia Mellody gave a very practical program and structure for breaking the patterns of co addicted relating Kudos too for giving sufficient attention to Love Avoidants, something that was definitely lacking in Levine Heller s recent book on attachment theory, Attached I also liked her husband Pat s contributions in Section III on what a healthy relationship looks like This is incredibly helpful to the intended readership, and I would like to seeof this in books on unhealthy relating.While I m not big on Twelve Step approaches, I like some elements of them and this book invokes Steps One and Four lightly and deftly I also really appreciated the big nod to Peele Brodsky s earlier work, esp considering that Peele is an opponent of Twelve Step approaches to sobriety I found myself hunting through the reference list and liking what I found.As someone else said, I think this book s title, accurate as it is, will alienate it from a much wider readership who probably need it I think most people in long term relationships and even those simply in the mel e of messed up family inter relationships could gain a lot of much needed wisdom and guidance from it I give this book 5 stars I was in a relationship where I felt mentally and emotionally unstable.I don t find myself to be codependent or clingy in anyway, but I knew there was a problem with the foundation of our engagement, and this book helped learn me learn to detach a little bit from my emotions.Looking back on it, it felt like a balm.