Free Audiobooks The Explosive ChildAuthor Ross W. Greene – Bilb-weil.de

Someone asked why I chose this book over the many others out there on this subject 1 it deals directly with the brain and its pathways there is actually some scientific basis for the theories behind this book2 it treats the children and parents with a great deal of compassion and respect The solutions have to do with understand our child and coaching them to grow the missing pathways rather than manage, rewarding or punishing which I know from experience just do not work with my child 3 Someone asked why I chose this book over the many others out there on this subject 1 it deals directly with the brain and its pathways there is actually some scientific basis for the theories behind this book2 it treats the children and parents with a great deal of compassion and respect The solutions have to do with understand our child and coaching them to grow the missing pathways rather than manage, rewarding or punishing which I know from experience just do not work with my child 3 at a glance, I recognized that mastering the strategies recommended by this book would help me bethe parent I want to be, whether I have explosive children or notI ve just started implementing the ideas from the book and we ve already seen a reduction in screaming tantrums or at least their duration We ll see if the strategies hold for the long term, but I have high hopes A very helpful book for parents, teachers, and all others who work with children. A groundbreaking approach to understanding and parenting children who frequently exhibit severe fits of temper and other intractable behaviours, from a distinguished clinician and pioneer in this field, now updated to include the most recent research Almost everyone knows an explosive child, one whose frequent, severe fits of temper leave his or her parents standing helpless in their fear, frustration, and guilt Most of these parents have tried everything reasoning, behaviour modification, therapy, medication but to no avail They wonder if their child is deviant or just plain bad Dr Ross Greene has worked with thousands of explosive children, and he has good news these kids aren t bad, and neither are their parents Rather, explosive children suffer from a physiological deficiency in frustration tolerance and flexibility Throughout this compassionate book, Dr Greene demonstrates why traditional treatments don t work for these kids and offers a new conceptual framework for understanding their behaviour, along with new language to describe it He explains the latest neuroscience findings about the importance of flexibility, and, most important, he shows parents specific, practical ways they can recognize the signs of an impending explosion, defuse tension, and reduce frustration levels for the entire family For parents, psychologists, educators and ADHD groups In addition to the scientific foundation of the book, Greene addresses parents in practical ways that will help show results in difficult children and their effect on families I want to give this book a bad review because it really goes against everything I hold to be reasonable But, I have been implementing it for 4 days now and getting some pretty amazing results Results that I am certain are directly related to following the plan set out by the authors I know what you re thinking Really Four whole days It s a Christmas miracle If I were there in front of you, I d reply, These are the first 4 days that have even teetered on the brink of replicating normal I want to give this book a bad review because it really goes against everything I hold to be reasonable But, I have been implementing it for 4 days now and getting some pretty amazing results Results that I am certain are directly related to following the plan set out by the authors I know what you re thinking Really Four whole days It s a Christmas miracle If I were there in front of you, I d reply, These are the first 4 days that have even teetered on the brink of replicating normal parent child interactions that I have experienced in 3 years Asshole Then I d apologize for my rudeness but I wouldn t mean it I will try to update as we make or don t make progress.UPDATE As hopeful as I was that we were making some progress, I m sorry to report that this method was completely unsustainable It is a possible that a better parent would have hung in there longer You might be that parent Don t take my word for the approach Your mileage may vary It is possible that in a smaller family a parent would have this much time to devote to every episode but in a family with 4 children it took about 4 days before I got tired of the script and that was that In spite of the book s insistence that kids don t manipulate, I was clearly being manipulated away from my other activities at every opportunity to negotiate how I could accommodate the whims of a 5 year old The book, of course, does address this by giving you an alternative when you can t negotiate Give the child what he she wants no questions asked At no point did I ever accept this as a real option and because I did not I cannot really say that this method doesn t work overall because I didn t really employ it.I think it says something that the chapter at the end of the book that says, What if this doesn t work , addresses institutionalizing your child Either the author assumes that his method is the only thing that CAN work or that his method is your end of the road option Either way, the fact that it is presented this way is something to consider If you have a child diagnosed with Oppositional Defiant Syndrome, or as Dr Greene prefers to call them, inflexible explosive, you MUST read this book It completely changed the way I think about daughter It helped me to see that she s not a tough discipline case, nor am I a parenting failure She has a processing disorder, and instead of trying to bend her to our will, we have to teach her the skills she needs to reason through her frustration It isn t easy, and it s very slow going on most If you have a child diagnosed with Oppositional Defiant Syndrome, or as Dr Greene prefers to call them, inflexible explosive, you MUST read this book It completely changed the way I think about daughter It helped me to see that she s not a tough discipline case, nor am I a parenting failure She has a processing disorder, and instead of trying to bend her to our will, we have to teach her the skills she needs to reason through her frustration It isn t easy, and it s very slow going on most days, but thanks to this book, I no longer operate from a place of hopelessness I ended up really enjoying this book It was a big eye opener for me on how to deal with my child that is stubborn, smart, perfectionist, always needing to be right, and throws temper tantrums and has a really short fuse It was interesting idea on that your child just is missing some ways on how to process certain things that happen to them, which end up really frustrate them How giving them a punishment while they are frustrated is ineffective, and so are many other parenting practices for yo I ended up really enjoying this book It was a big eye opener for me on how to deal with my child that is stubborn, smart, perfectionist, always needing to be right, and throws temper tantrums and has a really short fuse It was interesting idea on that your child just is missing some ways on how to process certain things that happen to them, which end up really frustrate them How giving them a punishment while they are frustrated is ineffective, and so are many other parenting practices for your child It made me muchsympathetic towards my child, and want to help him out He talks about catching your child before they have a meltdown and talking them down and out of frustrations Modeling a thinking processes, and talking them through what a lot of other kids already do in their heads That my child isn t a brat, manipulative, but just needs extra help and different parenting That you need to reevaluate your expectations for you kids, and not make life so frustrating for them I highly recommend this book for adults that deal with children that are easily frustrated, and inflexible Wouldn t it be nice if when our kids explode they explode with rainbows and sparkles It would be a mess to clean up but a vast improvement Lately it seems like our life is smack dab in the middle of a fault line It s a four year old one Sweet Pea has always been very sensitive and has had a few meltdowns But for the past six months, about the time she started preschool it s been an every day thing Sometimes it s little meltdowns and it s easy to get her out of it But too often it s a scre Wouldn t it be nice if when our kids explode they explode with rainbows and sparkles It would be a mess to clean up but a vast improvement Lately it seems like our life is smack dab in the middle of a fault line It s a four year old one Sweet Pea has always been very sensitive and has had a few meltdowns But for the past six months, about the time she started preschool it s been an every day thing Sometimes it s little meltdowns and it s easy to get her out of it But too often it s a screaming fit that ruins every one s day and makes us want to bang our heads against the wall We ve tried putting our foot down or disengaging and these just seem to make herescalated Dragging her upstairs and shutting the door on her is not something either of us enjoy doing At all We ve also been giving into her tantrums a lot Fine you can havecandy just stop already I should say I give inthen my husband does Both of us were at a loss, Peanut was never this bad We had no experience in dealing with her explosions Until I saw a book at work called The Explosive Child by Ross W Greene The first chapter starts with an example of a girl who decides she s going to have a frozen waffle for breakfast, but there isn t any and so she throws a huge fit This is definitely something that has happened in our house It goes on to explain that children who explode like this tend to have problems with transitions She wanted a waffle and it is very difficult for her to make the transition to eat something else The main thing that struck me is that he kept repeating that Children do good if they can, His theory is that children like Pea know what s right and they know they re not doing the right thing, but they can t help it He says to look at it as a learning disability You have to teach them how to transition and cope It won t be fixed in a day, but neither is a learning disability It takes time and a new approach He has three options for dealing with the child Plan A, B and C Plan A is the one most people use It s a No You are being ridiculous, stop doing that right now Which works with some kids, but if your kid is still exploding, it s not working for yours C is just giving in Fine you can have a piece of candy Sometimes plan C is a valid option Would you rather spend an hour with them kicking and screaming or just let them go out without socks on And the preferable option and the one he recommends is plan B Where you talk about it with the kid and find a mutually exclusive solution You start out by asking What s up Then you repeat back to them what s wrong You don t want to wear socks Then you try and put both concerns on the table My concern is that it s cold outside and your shoes will be stinky Their concern may be that the socks are itchy Well how about we find some less itchy socks Would you like to help me look Obviously it s not always that neat But I ve found that just starting with What s up makes a world of difference And if you learn their triggers i.e hunger, tiredness, math You can sometimes head them off at the pass It s a hard system to keep track of It s very easy to think you re doing plan B, when you re actually doing plan A But hopefully after a while you learn to talk to your children and they will learn to talk to you So less explosions Except for the rainbow glittery kind So far so good with Pea We are working on her saying something besides Because I don t want to But we re getting there Unfortunately, this book doesn t teach you what to do with your negative, explosive child during an episode.The book provides examples of kids with similar behaviors to my own kid, and it does explain why kids tend to explode, but it doesn t say what you can do during those explosions The solution provided is extremely unrealistic.In short, the solution is communication, but how do you communicate with a child who is having an episode The way communication goes in this book, the conversations s Unfortunately, this book doesn t teach you what to do with your negative, explosive child during an episode.The book provides examples of kids with similar behaviors to my own kid, and it does explain why kids tend to explode, but it doesn t say what you can do during those explosions The solution provided is extremely unrealistic.In short, the solution is communication, but how do you communicate with a child who is having an episode The way communication goes in this book, the conversations seem taken straight out of a disney tv show.What parent, frustrated when your child explodes, is going to sit down and say hey, I see you are having difficulties doing homework What s up The idea is good, but obviously, the author hasn t really lived through one of those explosive episodes.The book explains why kids explode For instance, not being able to transition from one taks to another e.g., from watching tv to have dinner And that part is good even if vague But what I want to know is this How could my child transition from one task to another without frustration What can I do with my child s chronic state of irritation How can I help my child to see the grays None of that in answered.The book is about how to deal with your explosive child before he explodes, not during It tells you to identify the triggers but it doesn t tell you what to do about them The book is billed as a new approach for understanding and parenting easily frustrated, chronically inflexible children I don t know if it s new it seemed logical and simple enough, but I think the author s presentation is so clear that you will benefit from the book even if you are already trying to solve problems with your child collaboratively A few reviewers seemed to feel that the author was negative, but I completely disagree I thought he was extraordinarily understanding toward chi The book is billed as a new approach for understanding and parenting easily frustrated, chronically inflexible children I don t know if it s new it seemed logical and simple enough, but I think the author s presentation is so clear that you will benefit from the book even if you are already trying to solve problems with your child collaboratively A few reviewers seemed to feel that the author was negative, but I completely disagree I thought he was extraordinarily understanding toward children and parents His starting premise is that children will do well if they can Sometimes, it is hard to keep that in mind, or to believe it, when a child explodes frequently It is hard not to feel the child is being manipulative or something like that, but the author works hard to remind you that it iscomplicated than that, and that is a good thing, because it makes his approach possible The method is simple, in a way, but it is systematic and requires work The author does not split hairs trying to define what an explosive child is, but there are a large number of transcripts that show them in action You do not need a diagnosis to get started As a matter of fact, I liked the way he downplayed the importance and value of a diagnosis almost entirely.After chapters that give a rationale for why collaborative problem solving is the best solution, after a detailed explanation of your three basic options, one of which you probably fall back on unconsciously, even if you try to explain your thinking to your child, the last six or so chapters elaborate on the basic approach It is not exhaustive, but it gave a very distinct sense that you can not just try the method once or twice, but that you need to practice it so that it will become a habit, so that it evolves in a way that fits your family Basically, all you are doing is talking to the child proactively The author demonstrates that your child s explosions are probably predictable You have to sit down and find the patterns, the situations You have to sit down with him or her and create a solution Sounds simple enough, may sound impossible, depending on your child, but the transcripts are very illuminating As a teacher, I was very interested in the chapter about schools I will probably pick up his book about schools if it looks like it elaborates on his ideas and givesexamples of dealing with explosive children A classroom teacher probably could not implement his approach without support though I also liked how the method could be adapted for solving problems between siblings and or students and for teaching skills This book is a revelation for parents frustrated, frightened, confused by their child s unusually challenging behavior It presents a framework for dealing with their behavior and finding a way to teach children how to behave appropriately, and to stop believing they don t want to do well kids do well if they can The book rejects many popular diagnoses like oppositional defiant disorder, ADHD, and the like as being beside the point.This book is not, however, a one stop solution fo This book is a revelation for parents frustrated, frightened, confused by their child s unusually challenging behavior It presents a framework for dealing with their behavior and finding a way to teach children how to behave appropriately, and to stop believing they don t want to do well kids do well if they can The book rejects many popular diagnoses like oppositional defiant disorder, ADHD, and the like as being beside the point.This book is not, however, a one stop solution for parents, and stops short of describing how to win over co parents, teachers and administrators in believing that the child s behavior is not criminal or mean spirited or a personal attack and is, in fact, a child s inappropriate way of expressing difficulty with a range of social developmental problems His book Lost in School is the next step, describing how to work with teachers and administrators I need another one though Lost at Home maybe, to help me negotiate the co parenting minefield